Commitment Even When Mistakes Are Made.

We had a very busy week this week. Mom’s Night Out was Monday night.

The kids had a dentist appointment on Thursday. If you follow my blog you’ve read about my Adventures with 6 kids at the Dentist before. Well, imagine the same thing but this time without my parents. 

Then we had Keepers of the Faith on Friday. (Keepers is an alternative to Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts.)

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All dressed up and no where to go. What better time to initiate a photo op?

But I have been reminding myself all week about Saturday morning being our Church’s Local Association Meeting. Basically that just means that we were voted to represent our church at a big business meeting of churches like ours in our area.

This year we had to drive about an hour for the meeting.  We had to leave the house this morning by 9 a.m. to get to the meeting on time.

I have one bedwetter and sometimes one that doesn’t necessarily wet the bed but he “forgets” to go bathroom occasionally. So needless to say I didn’t want my children dressed  in their clean clothes (that I stayed up late into the night to wash) smelling terrible.

So this was our morning…

My husband wakes up takes his shower. I wake up and check my messages before getting my shower. My calendar goes off plain as day announcing  what I’ve known all week. Today is the day to go to the meeting. 

The children are instructed to get their clothes out of the dryer, to get their shoes on, and… what is that smell?!  Ugh! Baths! Quick! We have 14 minutes we have to leave by to be on time. I rush the 3 youngest through baths. Once they all smelled better and were dressed, we were ready to leave.

“We’re going to be late!” my husband declared.

I decided it would be alright, I’ll drive. Yes, I tend to be one of those drivers every once in a while. But I rarely go beyond 5 miles over the speed limit. 

We had to stop to grab toaster pastries for breakfast but the rest of the time was a mad dash to not be too late to the meeting. 

What does this have to do with commitment? I’m getting there.

During the hour drive it took us to get there, Jonathan (5) was in the back singing at the top of his voice, “WHAT CAN WASH AWAY MY SINS? NOTHING BUT THE BLOOD OF JESUS!” over and over. 

I passed the church the meeting was to be held in. My husband saw the church as we passed.

We were turning around in a nearby parking lot when my husband looks at the paper with the info and says, “What is today?” 

Me: “The 5th, I think. Why?” 

My husband: “It’s not today.” 

Me: “It’s not? Today is what I put on the calendar!” (As if my having put it on the calendar  means it has to be right.) 

My husband: showing me the paper. “The parking lot is empty.”

Me: “Oh.”  long pause “Well, at least we’re not late!” 

Another long pause and both he and I start laughing. The kids have gotten used to our plans changing so they aren’t too disturbed. 

Child from the back: “So we’re not going?”

My husband: “We had the wrong date. We’ll do something else.”

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All our ducks in a row at the store. We looked like one of those cursor trails that follow the mouse movements around the screen. Everywhere my husband went a trail of children followed behind him. 🙂

Are you still wondering what this has to do with commitment?

My very detail oriented husband could have gotten angry with me. Things are a bit tight this month and we really don’t have the money to spare on such mistakes. But he chose to show grace and make the best of the situation.

Instead of becoming angry for my slip up, he laughed and said, “Well, this would make a good blog post.” 

If you are single and plan to one day marry, you will most likely find someone different from you. Are you a detail oriented person? You may marry someone very laid back. Are you an introvert? You may marry someone outgoing. You have to be willing to work through your differences.

Learn about different personalities now. Figure out how to get along with people who don’t think like you do. You will find that by giving them the benefit of a doubt you might learn something new along the way. 

Have you ever been forgiven by a spouse or relative? How did you feel? Have you ever had to put anger aside and be the one to forgive? I love hearing your stories. Please share them with me in the comments.  

If you would like to talk with me privately, you can simply reply to any email you receive from Rock Solid Family or go to my Contact page for my contact information.

This was Day 6 of 31 Days Building Commitment. I really appreciate all the feedback I have gotten thus far. Be sure to get a copy of my free book, “Don’t Quit: Build a Legacy of Commitment“. 

Tomorrow, I plan to post what I originally had planned for today, Preparing for Marriage While Single. I’ll be sharing from my own experiences while single.

I have installed a new commenting system on my blog. If you had troubles in the past with posting comments, it should be easier now. Let me know if you have any further problems. 

~~ Anastacia ~~

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Commitment in Marriage (Guest Post by My Dad)

This is a guest post by my dad, Paul Clark. He and my mom have been happily  married 40 years and raised 3 children. All 3 of whom are very committed to our spouses and our families.

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Art Credit: Joshua K. Maness

It has been well said that when it comes to providing the farmer his breakfast, the cow and the hen are involved but the pig is committed. The cow can stop giving milk and the hen can stop laying eggs but for the pig there is no turning back. Commitment should be viewed just this way.

Once you jump off a cliff you are committed. There is no turning back and no changing your mind. At the point one jumps, at the point one says “I do” there is no turning back. That is true commitment. When the wedding vows say “for better or for worse, through good times and bad, until death do us part,” they mean just that.

Once the vows have been made and the commitment is underway thoughts of going back, giving up, turning around should never enter one’s mind. One has jumped and it is too late to turn back they are now committed. If divorce comes, then commitment or at the least bilateral commitment never existed.

One can react to this impossibility of going back or stopping that to which they have committed, in different ways. One can be motivated by nobility and integrity to get them through the bad times and thus praise their own strength of character and enlist the same praise from others to comfort them in their misery. One may be motivated by stubbornness to maintain their commitment.

However, there is a better way. That way is love. Love makes true commitment possible. When turning back is not an option, when the vows have been made and reneging on them is not a possibility then solving problems and coping with troubles that arise in marriage and family life are left with but one tool and that is love.

The Bible teaches us that

“Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude. Love isn’t selfish or quick tempered. It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil. Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. Love never fails!”

– 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 CEV

 

When a man and a woman truly love each other, true commitment will exist. Its proof is found in duration. Love and true commitment will weather every storm, EVERY storm!

Is it possible for a couple to be married for forty years and never once consider divorce or separation? This author will testify that it is indeed! True love and commitment causes a couple to stay together and causes them to be unable to envision , imagine, contemplate, or in any way desire life apart.

There is another commitment that helps with the marriage commitment. If the man and the woman will each commit themselves to God first and put God first in their lives then as they both strive to be pleasing to God they will discover that they will be pleasing to each other. True commitment to God makes commitment to marriage and family very achievable.

 

So how about you? Are you committed? Will you be the Chicken, the Cow, or the Pig in your marriage?  Feel free to share in the comments.

paulclarkPaul Clark, the pastor of Walnut Street Baptist Church in Hillsboro, Tx., has a Doctorates Degree in Theology from Texas Baptist Institute-Seminary. He and his beloved wife, Janie have been married 40 years come December. You can find out more about Bro. Paul and connect with him on his website at http://baptistville.org. You can also subscribe to his YouTube Channel here.

This is Day 5 of 31 Days Building Commitment. Check back tomorrow to see how a single person can prepare for their future marriage.

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A History of Family Commitment: My Maternal Grandparents

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James and Charlcye Taylor were married January 1, 1945. We called them Mema and Daddy Jim. They were married 64 years.

I remember how Daddy Jim was always a hard worker. He was a marine. Then he felt the call to preach a little while after being out of the military. I loved to hear my Daddy Jim preach. He was one of those old timer preachers that would emphasize his points with relish.

Mema and Daddy Jim were always good at hospitality. Their family has always been a close knit family. Their doors were always open for company. 

Our family would all get together at Mema and Daddy Jim’s house. I remember gathering around their piano in the family room passing around hymnals and singing beautiful songs of praise to God. Everyone would sing in joyful harmony. taylorfamilyyoung2That is one of my favorite memories. 

Mema and Daddy Jim were always there for us. If we needed help, we could always count on them. 

I remember Daddy Jim many times coming to help when we had car troubles.One time I got my car stuck in a ditch. Daddy Jim was there in no time to help me out. Flat tire? Call Daddy Jim.

No matter where you were stranded you could always count on Daddy Jim. He was committed to family.

MemawDaddyJimOne time my parents were out of town. I was a teenager and we were sure that we could take care of ourselves while they were away. However all three of us, my brother, sister, and I caught strep throat.

Mema took good care of us big kids. My parents didn’t have anything to worry about. Mema took us to the doctor. She made sure we took our medicine and got plenty of rest. She has always been there for us.

As Daddy Jim got older his health began to fail. Mema was always there for him and took good care of him. Even during the times she couldn’t get around as well, she would continue to serve him. If he wanted anything, she would get it for him.

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A Perfect Picture of Commitment
Mema and Daddy Jim’s Hands.

I think the sweetest memory I have of their marriage was on one of Mema’s birthdays. It wasn’t too long before he passed away.

Daddy Jim had just come out of the bathroom and sat in his chair. My mom and her sisters had bought a present for him to give Mema. 

Mema was admiring her present when Daddy Jim told her that she hadn’t even noticed his real present for her and pointed at his face. Mema came closer and saw that he had shaved just for her. She put her cheek against his cheek and gave him a kiss. And the whole room went “Aaahhh!!!”

Of course no one had a camera ready to capture that moment but I guess if a picture is worth a thousand words then maybe I was able to paint you a picture of my grandparents’ faithfulness and commitment with just five hundred. 

Do you know anyone that is that committed to family? Do you have any examples of unconditional love? The kind of love that does something for someone else without expecting anything in return? Please share your stories with us in the comments. 

This is Day 3 in my series  31 Days Building Commitment. You can bookmark that page to see my previous posts in this series. Tomorrow I will be introducing you to the lessons I have learned of commitment from my parents. 

I am going through this series expounding on my book “Don’t Quit: Build a Legacy of Commitment.” Download your free copy today! 
 

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