Engagement: The Point of Decision

If this were a step-by-step process (and for some of you it may be) then as you approach engagement you would already be ready. For those that are still single if you listen to everything I share here at this point you will have waited for the right person that God has for you. You would have yourself prepared for this moment when you must decide to either ask or answer the question, “Will you marry me?”

This is a very important moment in your life’s story. Should you marry this person or not? In an ideal situation there shouldn’t be a question in your mind. At some point in your courtship or dating you should have been thinking of this question all along and praying about it.

If at any point in the courtship or dating stage, you have a doubt or a nagging feeling that this person isn’t right for you, immediately call it off. Don’t wait to see if this person will change! You can only change yourself you can’t force the other person to change. So if they aren’t a good person before marriage don’t expect them to be good after. 

The Bible says we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.

unequallyyoked

Art Credit: Joshua Maness

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”

– 2 Corinthians 6:14  

Woah! Woah! Woah! What is this unequally yoked business about?

Let me explain. 

Let’s say you want to plow a field or pull a wagon the old fashioned way. The yoke was the tool used to connect two animals to the plow or wagon. You don’t want to put a cow and a donkey together. They both work in different ways. Two cows would be able to pull together they are both equal in strength. Two donkeys could even work together to pull a wagon.  But you would not want to put a strong animal with a weak animal. 

The Bible says:

“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”

– Amos 3:3

If you and the person you are thinking about marrying do not agree on important issues, then you need to call it off as soon as you realize they are not the one God has for you. Don’t think you are going to change them once you are married. That’s like that cow thinking it can change the stubborn donkey to pull faster. 

Once you commit yourself in marriage then there is no turning back. If you consider divorce an option, then you were never committed in the first place. Your marriage is doomed before you even say, “I do,” simply because you have no commitment.

Here are the questions you need to ask yourself preferably before you become engaged but especially before the wedding day.

  1. Is this person committed to God? 
  2. Will they go to church with me?
  3. Are they supportive of my interests and talents?
  4. Am I willing to support their interests?
  5. Is this person someone I want to live the rest of my life with?
  6. Do they consider divorce an option? (Do they insist on a prenuptial agreement?) 
  7. Are they committed to you?
  8. Do you feel they are only attracted to you because of your looks? 
  9. Would they still love you if you gained 50 pounds, had thinning hair, and sagging skin?
  10. What about raising children? Do you agree on how you will discipline and train your children? How many children do you both want?

These are all things worth considering. How committed are you? How committed will you be? Before your wedding day, I want you to look your fiance in the eyes and say, “I promise I will never leave you no matter what!” That’s the kind of commitment you need to have before you marry. 

That’s what I told my husband before we married. I chose to be committed to him before he even asked me to marry him.

We had a conversation where we talked about love and commitment. He expressed concern about not wanting to marry someone that would leave him. I told him that if we married I would not leave him no matter what. Even if he tried he’ll never be able to run me off. Of course, I’m not letting him become old and grumpy and he knows that I will never leave him.

I am still serious about my commitment to him. I will never leave him. We don’t even joke about divorce.

Are you that committed to the one you will marry? If you are already married, did you have questions you considered before you decided to marry your spouse? Please share with me in the comments.

Today is Day 12 of 31 Days of Commitment. For those following by email I’m sorry this one is late. We had a meeting with some other churches this morning and I was not able to get this posted on time.  

So I am writing this today but you will not get it until tomorrow which is your today. How is that for confusing? :) Thanks for following along! 

~~ Anastacia ~~

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About Anastacia Maness

Anastacia Maness is a preacher's wife, homeschooling mother of 6 blessings, and writer. When she's not busy counting her blessings she's writing about them right here on her blog, encouraging and strengthening families.

3 thoughts on “Engagement: The Point of Decision

  1. Pingback: Engaged Preparing for Marriage - Rock Solid Family

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