Engaged Preparing for Marriage

Alright! So you read yesterday’s post. You prayed about it and you’ve decided that this is definitely the person God would have you marry. You are both on the same page. In fact you both read that post and were in agreement.

What? You didn’t think about sharing the post “Engagement: Point of Decision” with your fiance? Okay real quick click the link here and go down to the share button and send it. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

engagedThat didn’t take long. After reading that page, I will assume right now that you both are in agreement. Now it is time for the two of you to prepare for marriage.

No. I don’t mean picking out flowers and the wedding dress. I mean preparing mentally and spiritually.

I could write a whole book just on ways to prepare for marriage. For now I will share what my husband and I did.

  1. We decided which church we would attend together. When we first met I was the Sunday School teacher for the teen class at the church where my dad pastored. Scott was a member of a larger Baptist Church where he was helping with an ESL ministry. We decided we needed to choose one place to worship together. I decided that I would follow him and join the church where he was a member.
  2. We had one session of premarital counseling with the pastor of the church we planned to attend together. I think we might could have had a little more counseling but the pastor saw that we were committed to each other and loaned us some videos to watch instead of having us back for any further counseling.
  3. We watched marriage videos and read books on marriage. Now with the internet there are a lot more resources available to engaged couples preparing for marriage than there were 17 years ago. One great resource is Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk marriage videos. He has also written quite a few books. We also studied Larry Burkett’s books and videos on budgeting and finances.
  4.  We took a marriage and family class together. You may not be able to find a marriage class in your area. However I know there are a lot more resources online now. In fact just going through this 31 Day Series on Building Commitment you will get a lot. When I am done with this series my husband and I may start working on creating an online marriage course through Rock Solid Family.
  5.  We found out our personality types. I remember in the Marriage and Family class we took, the instructor looked at my chart and told Scott, “You won’t have any problems with her. She knows exactly who she is and is comfortable being that way.”  He was mostly right, except the person I was comfortable being was exactly opposite of the man I was marrying. So we still had to learn to adjust and work on our weaknesses and help build each other up instead of hurting each other. And we had to realize that a lot of the things we did differently were a matter of personality and we had to be patient with each other.

How about you? Do you have any advice on ways to prepare for marriage? What resources would you recommend to engaged couples to help them prepare for marriage and raising a family? I know I didn’t cover all of the great resources available in this post so I would love to hear what I might have missed in the comments below.

This is Day 13 of 31 Days Building Commitment. Check back tomorrow as we look at marriage life after you say, “I do.” If you know someone that might benefit from what you are reading here please share any of these posts with them. 

~~ Anastacia ~~

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About Anastacia Maness

Anastacia Maness is a preacher's wife, homeschooling mother of 6 blessings, and writer. When she's not busy counting her blessings she's writing about them right here on her blog, encouraging and strengthening families.

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