Wives: How to Get Your Husband’s Attention

On Day 20 of 31 Days Building Commitment I explained to husbands how to stop a nagging wife. Today, I want to address wives on how to get your husband’s attention. It’s alright for curious husbands to read along too. 

The common problem I’ve heard while talking with other wives is, “Well, our husbands say they don’t want us to nag, but how else are we suppose to get them to do anything?”

If your husbands read the last post, hopefully you’ve already started incorporating the Honey-Do list.

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Art Credit: Scott Maness

Now then wives… there are other ways you can get your husband’s attention without nagging.

“Impossible!” you say. Well, that may depend on you.

  1. Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
  2.  when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
  3.  Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.
  4.  Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
  5.  For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands,” – 1 Peter 3:1-5 NIV

First let’s get one thing straight. This is not saying to let yourself go and quit dressing up for your husband.

This is saying that your actions are more important than how you dress.

If you care about who you are on the inside that will naturally roll over to how you present yourself on the outside. Believe me if you quit worrying about making your husband notice you physically and start working on your own weaknesses, he will notice.

He may not notice right off. Sometimes it takes a while for it to register what it is that is different.

What is your normal greeting when he comes home from work? Do you greet him cheerfully with a smile on your face and a song in your heart? Or do you say, “Hello” and start telling him about all the things you still need done around the house?

I mentioned in the previous post that husbands and wives need to create a joint “Honey-Do” list where you can write all the things you need there.

Whether or not your husband read that post you should talk to him nicely about making a list. You get bonus points if you can make it his idea. 😉

When he does do something for you, don’t correct how he is doing it. If he loads the dishwasher for you, don’t tell him all the things he did wrong. That is a sure fire way to get him to quit helping you.

Stay positive. Thank him for helping. If there are dishes that weren’t clean enough you can always rewash them later. Just don’t mention that to him.

Did he do laundry and turn some of the clothes pink? Don’t get upset with him. Think of something positive from it. He could use a new white work shirt anyway. And no one will notice the pink undergarments.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

Our attitudes really do affect our husbands. If he works outside the home, does he dread coming home to complaining?  Or is he excited to get off work and rushes home to see you?

Surprise him occasionally with love notes in his drawer. Schedule in a date night. Put it on your “Honey-Do” list.

Dates don’t have to be expensive. Pick a location. You can go to a restaurant together or even just walk around the park. Turn off your phones and just talk.

Don’t do all the talking. Ask him questions. What was his favorite toy when he was a kid? What was his favorite board game? Remember his answers. You might want to get that board game for a future date night or family night.

Show that what he has to say is important to you.

That is what the verses above mean by being submissive to your husband. You care about him and what he wants.

That does not mean you are to be a doormat and let him walk all over you. It means that you are confident enough in yourself and who you are in Christ that you can give your husband the time and attention he needs.

By doing these things you can win over even an unbelieving husband without saying a word. He will notice that there is something different about you.

The most important thing is to put your confidence in God and what He wants for you.

God really does want you to be happy. He tells you how in His Book, the Bible. Read it. Study it.

Find a church where you can ask questions and learn. Become friends with other church members who will be a good, positive influence on you and your family.

Is your husband not willing to go to church? Don’t nag him to come with you. Ask him if he’d like to come. Make it an open invitation but then leave it alone. Don’t keep asking. If he starts to ask you questions about it then you can ask again. Don’t drive him farther away from you by constantly asking him.

If you are living your life with the joy of the Lord, your husband will notice.

Have you ever gotten your husband’s attention without nagging? Please share your experiences and any other tips you might have in the comments.

This is Day 21 of 31 Days Building Commitment. There are only 10 Days left in this series. I have an idea I will have so much more to write on this topic though.

Once I am done with this series I plan to start putting my next book together. It will be a much bigger and more in depth look at the same topic as my recent book, “Don’t Quit: Build a Legacy of Commitment“. You can download it for free here.

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About Anastacia Maness

Anastacia Maness is a preacher's wife, homeschooling mother of 6 blessings, and writer. When she's not busy counting her blessings she's writing about them right here on her blog, encouraging and strengthening families.

4 thoughts on “Wives: How to Get Your Husband’s Attention

  1. katinavaselopulos

    Anastacia, these are very wise words! I agree with you and Shelley: You don’t accomplish anything by nagging, but building your man’s strength points you win him over. One thing my husband has never heard from me is nagging. I ask for what I need and let it go. He might do it right away or he might need to wait a little. When he is ready, he opens up the conversation again and then realizes that what I asked of him is something only he can do. Then “HE” decides and feels good about it.
    My young friend, I want to know what school you went to and became so wise!
    Blessings my beautiful Anastacia!

    Reply
    • Anastacia Maness Post author

      Thank you, Katina!
      I think your question as to where I get my wisdom from could be a blog post all in itself. But I think the main thing was as a child I read James 1:5 and asked God to give me that wisdom. I figured there was no harm in asking. I’m not particularly smart as far as schooling goes but I did gain a lot of common sense and a memory that can be a blessing and a curse at times. :) I tell you what, I’ll put this on my list of future blog posts to write.
      Anastacia Maness recently posted…Wives: How to Get Your Husband’s AttentionMy Profile

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