In today’s post, I’m specifically addressing husbands. I realize that there will be a lot of wives reading along and I have an idea some of you husbands may be reading this because your wife shared it with you (or stuck her laptop in your face) and said, “Look, Dear! You have to read this!”
If you are that husband, what I am about to tell you should help you stop one of the biggest complaints men have with their wives.
“She told me once. Why does she keep bringing it up over and over again? I told her I will get to it in a little bit.”
Ah the misery of a nagging wife… In fact this very thing was addressed in Proverbs.
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. … Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.”
– Proverbs 21:9, 19 NIV
Woah… Don’t start packing your backpack yet. I’m not suggesting you go on an extended hiking trip in the desert. That really won’t be necessary.
The whole idea of those verses is that if living on the roof and in the desert are bad then having a nagging, quarrelsome wife is worse.
What if I were to tell you that there is something you can do to slow down the nagging, complaining, and quarreling? Would you do it?
Even if your wife has been nagging you for years. You can create a happier wife with very little effort.
Step 1: Do things for your wife before she asks. Start with those things that are easy for you to do. Don’t say anything. Consider it your secret mission.
Okay… I know. Your wife may have already read this before she handed it to you. However, you don’t have to tell her you are going to do this. Just start.
Look around at one thing you can do for her. Let me just suggest one as an example. Dishes. How about that? My husband started helping me with dishes. Now the attitude you take on while doing those dishes is important.
Do it without malice. Don’t be thinking, “Why didn’t she get this done already?” Trust me. Women can pick up on hints just as good as they can drop them.
She can sense when you are doing something because you are holding a grudge or honestly wanting to help out. Offer to wash while she dries or vice versa. If you have a dishwasher go ahead and load it up.
What did she complain about how you did it? I’ll be addressing her on that issue later. For now, just shake your head and breathe a little prayer. But keep trying. Eventually your efforts will pay off.
Step 2: Set up an easy to maintain list. Whether it is a marker board, shared phone app, or a piece of paper. Have this list where you both can see it. Make it easy for her to write on this list. This will be your to-do list also known as a Honey-do list.
Now I’m serious here. Create a to-do list that your wife can write what she needs help on.
Does she have troubles taking out the trash? Instead of complaining at you all the time she can write this need on a to-do list.
Does she need help putting a lock on a door? She can write it on your to-do list instead of constantly asking you. Most of the time women feel they need to keep asking because they think you forgot.
Does your wife’s constant asking make you more stubborn against doing the job? This list will help. She won’t have to constantly ask you.
This will be your agreed upon method for her to ask. Have a method where she can label the things that are a higher priority for her.
Now the most important part. Make it a goal to work on that list. Even if you only get one thing done on that list in a day. She will see that you are meeting her need for help. If something on the list is something you don’t mind her hiring someone to help. Then write a note beside it, “Hire so-n-so to do that.”
An example in my experience of hiring outside help was with trash. My husband couldn’t always take the trash to the dump for me. Then loading up all my children and several smelly bags of trash in a mini van was a major undertaking.
I was at my wits end when my husband gave me the go ahead to hire someone to pick up our trash once a week. That has been the best investment for me and I still appreciate it to this day. All those days of struggling with garbage is gone with the arrival of the trash truck and all I have to do is get that bag of trash to the curb.
If there are some jobs on your wife’s Honey-Do list. that you don’t mind paying for then go ahead and suggest it. If your wife is concerned that there isn’t enough money to hire it done then find ways to save some money or sell something that you don’t need or want to take care of the cost.
Now I want you to try this Honey-Do list out. Check off any tasks you complete. You will have a much happier and less complaining wife.
Have you ever used a Honey-do list? What do you think wives? Would this make life easier for you? Would you stop nagging if you knew your husband was working on your list? Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Husbands I want to hear from you too. Let me know what you think.
This is Day 20 of 31 Days Building Commitment. Tomorrow, I will be addressing the wives about this same topic of nagging.Like